Sydney Smiles

Sydney Smiles: May 2010

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Life I Used to Lead

The life I used to live was full of passion. I cared so much about what was happening in the world it was a detriment to myself. It was difficult to function in normal society. Concerned with the social injustice of this world - I tried to remove myself from it. I aimed to not make purchases that had been tainted by the social sin of society. I would not purchase items made abroad in some exploited country, made by exploited workers under bad conditions, because it hurt my heart too much.

I refused to eat chocolate that was not fair trade, because of the relative high chance child slave labor was used in harvesting of the cocoa beans.

My "passion" put me at risk while driving. I could not look at a George W Bush bumper sticker without convulsing in a seizure of disgust. Once I was driving on the freeway, and convulsing in disgust, at a Dubya supporter's obvious display of bumper love, when the car in front of me made a sudden slow down. I had to slam on breaks in order not to ram the car in front me. It was then I thought, perhaps I should relax a little.

Over the years I have lightened up. It became too much to go to the store and not buy anything because I couldn't find something fairly made, without exploitation.

Despite all my efforts I still could not avoid my part in the social sin. I did not have to buy chocolate. But, I did have to buy fruits and vegetables. In America, the harvesting of crops are famous for bringing in migrant workers from Mexico for cheap labor often under questionable working conditions. If I wanted to eat I could not help taking part in this social sin.

I wanted to be young and frivolous. I wanted to go shopping and buy something because it was cute. I didn't want to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders anymore. So, I began to ignore my "passion."

I was 25 when my mom passed away at age 47. I began to realize life was short, and wondered what I was doing with me life? I didn't want to punish myself anymore. I wanted to be happy to live life and embrace it. I changed or suppressed the hurting part of me, to tell you the truth I am not quite sure. I ate non-fairtrade chocolate. I bought things because they were pretty. I traveled. I laughed. I loved.

Yet, I remain unresolved. Sometimes the passion is triggered. I feel it full force. I feel the pain. I feel the anger. I rage that I am unsuccessful at changing the injustices of this world.

Sometimes, outsiders, like to challenge those who care. They profess it's all very simple. If you care - if you want to change things - stand up and be heard. Change things. If you don't like war - say so - your government will listen, after all isn't that what democracy is all about?

Sadly, that is not how democracy works. You can stand. You can speak, but no one has to listen if you are on the losing side. It's a winner take all system here in America. So please, leave me alone, with your simple antagonistic ways. Amuse yourself some other way.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


I have graduated!!!! I am now a master of political science. Lmao. Okay, I don't believe that is really how one is supposed to refer to oneself, but gosh darn it I have earned my MA degree and I think I am funny.

I would post pictures of graduation but I have lost the cord needed to upload the pics to my computer. Honestly, in the move, I also lost my camera - but I am hopeful it will turn up.

That is right, you heard me correctly, I have moved. I am no longer in Chicago. I have returned to the small town in Michigan known to me lovingly as home. Hence, the name change of this blog.

I have officially entered the "limbo period" of my life.

I have been accepted into the PhD program at the University of New South Wales. :-) I am currently waiting to hear back about whether or not I will receive a scholarship. As I am growing older, and possibly more practical, I shall wait to hear back about my financial obligations before I make any final decisions about attending. So, don't run out and tell everyone it's a sure thing yet! ;-) However, the UNSW clearly thinks I am smart enough to accept me into their program - so that is pretty darn cool!

For now, I will sit in this small town in Michigan and await my fate in this lovely "limbo period" of my life.

Cheers! ♥

Friday, May 7, 2010


What kind of classless person eats like that in a restaurant? For shame! Lol.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Can you tell the difference?

Okay, lovely readers, I am taking a poll. Who can tell the difference in the color of nail polish between the left and right hand?

The other day my friend wanted purple nail polish. She purchased several different shades of purple. Today, I met her for lunch, and exclaimed, "Oh, I like your nail polish." She replied, "Which one? I have two different colors. One on each hand." I reply, "Dude, I can't tell the difference." My friend is astonished, "Seriously? They are two different colors!" I laughed, accused her of being crazy, got out my camera phone and said I would put it on my blog and ask everyone's opinion.

So, what do you think? Can you tell the difference between the shades of purple? Which color do you like better?