Down the Rabbit Hole...

Day 11: Expat Blog Challenge: I wish that when I had started my blog I had...

I wish that when I had started my blog I had... are you sure you really want to go there? You really want to follow me down that rabbit hole? I suggest you just leave now... You're still here? Well, you asked for it... Okay, let's go down the rabbit hole...
I wish I was a little bit taller. 
I wish I was a baller. 
I wish I had a girl that looked good, I would call her. 
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat - with a bat
And a six four impala

I wish... wait, hold a minute ***insert screeching tire sounds here***... damn it, these just Skee-Lo lyrics to his song "I wish."  What an epic 6th grade anthem back in the day. Go ahead - watch the video - you know you're curious.

                   

Speaking of Supernatural, that's why we were talking about the Impala, right? Anyway, speaking of Supernatural... Wouldn't it be awesome to ride along with the Winchesters?


Ya'll have no idea how much I love Dean Winchester. Do you think it is inappropriate to ask the Tall Aussie With a Slavic Name That Sounds Full of Dread for Dean Winchester for my Valentine Birthday? Best Valentine Birthday ever!


Right.... so... what was I suppose to be writing about again? I wish that when I had started my blog... I had come up with the perfect name & design... but, even if I had - I'd probably still doubt it and want to make it better somehow... I wish I hadn't neglected blogging so much the past couple of years... I wish I hadn't felt just because I was so sad about the cancer that was taking my dad I wouldn't have been able to share anything worth while, because I certainly didn't want to share my pain. That would have made it real & I didn't want it to be real. I wish I had built up a bigger readership... I wish success had accidentally fallen into my lap. I wish I would have tried harder to build a career. I wish I hadn't settled for jobs in call centers. I wish I would have made the right decisions. Which ones were the right ones again? I wish an employer would recognize my potential & take a chance. I wish I wasn't still unemployed. I wish I were better at interviews. I wish I hadn't gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I wish I didn't get so down at times... I wish... I wish... I wish...

Alas, the past is past... I can look back and wish to change it, but no amount of wishing ever changes the past. I wish this blog entry was better. But the past & wishes & uncertain futures have drained all my energy & I just can't be bothered to even try to improve this rabbit hole.





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Sydney Smiles: Down the Rabbit Hole...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Down the Rabbit Hole...

Day 11: Expat Blog Challenge: I wish that when I had started my blog I had...

I wish that when I had started my blog I had... are you sure you really want to go there? You really want to follow me down that rabbit hole? I suggest you just leave now... You're still here? Well, you asked for it... Okay, let's go down the rabbit hole...
I wish I was a little bit taller. 
I wish I was a baller. 
I wish I had a girl that looked good, I would call her. 
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat - with a bat
And a six four impala

I wish... wait, hold a minute ***insert screeching tire sounds here***... damn it, these just Skee-Lo lyrics to his song "I wish."  What an epic 6th grade anthem back in the day. Go ahead - watch the video - you know you're curious.

                   

Speaking of Supernatural, that's why we were talking about the Impala, right? Anyway, speaking of Supernatural... Wouldn't it be awesome to ride along with the Winchesters?


Ya'll have no idea how much I love Dean Winchester. Do you think it is inappropriate to ask the Tall Aussie With a Slavic Name That Sounds Full of Dread for Dean Winchester for my Valentine Birthday? Best Valentine Birthday ever!


Right.... so... what was I suppose to be writing about again? I wish that when I had started my blog... I had come up with the perfect name & design... but, even if I had - I'd probably still doubt it and want to make it better somehow... I wish I hadn't neglected blogging so much the past couple of years... I wish I hadn't felt just because I was so sad about the cancer that was taking my dad I wouldn't have been able to share anything worth while, because I certainly didn't want to share my pain. That would have made it real & I didn't want it to be real. I wish I had built up a bigger readership... I wish success had accidentally fallen into my lap. I wish I would have tried harder to build a career. I wish I hadn't settled for jobs in call centers. I wish I would have made the right decisions. Which ones were the right ones again? I wish an employer would recognize my potential & take a chance. I wish I wasn't still unemployed. I wish I were better at interviews. I wish I hadn't gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I wish I didn't get so down at times... I wish... I wish... I wish...

Alas, the past is past... I can look back and wish to change it, but no amount of wishing ever changes the past. I wish this blog entry was better. But the past & wishes & uncertain futures have drained all my energy & I just can't be bothered to even try to improve this rabbit hole.





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8 Comments:

At February 11, 2014 at 12:27 PM , OpenID joshandjackie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At February 11, 2014 at 1:16 PM , Blogger C. In Oz said...

Totally know these rabbit hole days. Sometimes they're just a bummer and sometimes they lead me to a change I need to make. Maybe the rabbit hole will take you somewhere interesting.
I like seeing you writing here again because I like your writing, happy, sad or otherwise.

 
At February 11, 2014 at 1:48 PM , Blogger Samantha said...

Thank you, friend, it really means something to have someone who can appreciate my writing happy, sad, or otherwise. :-)

 
At February 11, 2014 at 8:06 PM , Blogger Cosette Paneque said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's easy to look at the past and find where we might have done things differently, but we're all doing our best in the present with the information we have. A lot of the things you mention, it's not too late for them.

 
At February 11, 2014 at 8:48 PM , Blogger Kelli said...

I think your blog post is excellent! I had a hard time coming up with something for this one and even as I hit 'publish' I wish I could change it :) It seems like you're looking to move forward and that's a really positive thing! I really enjoy reading your blog.

 
At February 11, 2014 at 9:44 PM , OpenID plungedownunder.com said...

I echo Cristin. I have really enjoyed your writing, and I hope you keep it up, 'happy, sad or otherwise.'

 
At February 11, 2014 at 10:11 PM , Blogger Yvette Niesel said...

I wish success would accidentally fall in my lap, too. :)

 
At February 11, 2014 at 11:12 PM , Blogger Samantha said...

Thank you all so much for your comments and kind words. I very much appreciate them. (((Hugs)))

 

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