I will never get used to... the fact that cockroaches can fly... ever!!!
I was sitting on my bed - minding my own business. The windows were open because it was about million degrees outside and I was attempting to get a bit of a breeze. I didn't own a fan - Lord only knows why - being from Michigan I just wasn't "made" to handle this kind of heat. So, I'm sitting there entertaining myself with the mysteries of the interwebs, happy as can be, when it happened.
A cockroach flew in through the opened window. No, that's not right, it didn't just fly - this was more like smugly sauntering through the air towards my head. This mofo was proud of himself! It was like that scene straight out of Top Gun when Maverick decides it's time to "buzz the tower."
At first I was bewildered and frightened, as you would be, when things starts flying at your head. When I realized it was a cockroach I was TERRIFIED! Flying cockroaches are something I will never get used to! I had never encountered a cockroach before moving to Oz. The regular crawling kind scared me enough. Oh, but when they fly, all bets are off! The Tall Aussie with the Slavic Name that Sounds full of Dread wasn't home at the time. I called him in a panic. I remember him laughing and asking me what I wanted him to do? Umm... why are you laughing? This isn't funny! Clearly this is an emergency! Do you not understand that cockroaches can fly??? Obviously, you should immediately abandon whatever the heck it is your are doing and come save me! He failed to grasp the gravity of the situation. He did not run home to save me. Who needs him anyway? I rescued myself by sacrificing the rest of the house to the cockroaches free reign. Once he flew out the bedroom door, I shut the room up tight and sat shaking in fear, as I recovered from my ordeal.
Some of you might be scratching your heads and wondering how the cockroach managed to fly through the window screen? Well, that's an easy one, there are no screens. Apparently, no one in the whole continent of Australia has ever thought, "gee, I don't like bugs flying in through the windows...I'm gonna put up window screens." Maybe Aussies are just built tougher than I am? Perhaps they don't act like little babies when the mosquitos are eating them alive or flying cockroaches are boldly taunting them? [Okay, clearly this is unfair. Someone, somewhere in Oz has managed to put up some window screens... it is just surprisingly uncommon to have screens on windows here.]
Luckily for me, the cockroaches don't always take to flight. They seem to reserve this treat for special occasions. Ya know... like when they see a perfectly unsuspecting Michigander with her guard down and they're having a "boring" night... that my friends is the recipe for the perfect storm.
I pray you shall never know the terror, God save you all & may you never come into contact with the likes of a flying cockroach.
Labels: Expat Blog Challenge, Flying Cockroach, Terror