Cockroaches can fly? Please! God! NO!!!

Day 8: Expat Blog Challenge: I will never get used to...


I will never get used to... the fact that cockroaches can fly... ever!!!


never...ever...ever...

I was sitting on my bed - minding my own business. The windows were open because it was about million degrees outside and I was attempting to get a bit of a breeze. I didn't own a fan - Lord only knows why - being from Michigan I just wasn't "made" to handle this kind of heat. So, I'm sitting there entertaining myself with the mysteries of the interwebs, happy as can be, when it happened.

A cockroach flew in through the opened window. No, that's not right, it didn't just fly - this was more like smugly sauntering through the air towards my head. This mofo was proud of himself! It was like that scene straight out of Top Gun when Maverick decides it's time to "buzz the tower."

At first I was bewildered and frightened, as you would be, when things starts flying at your head. When I realized it was a cockroach I was TERRIFIED! Flying cockroaches are something I will never get used to! I had never encountered a cockroach before moving to Oz. The regular crawling kind scared me enough. Oh, but when they fly, all bets are off! The Tall Aussie with the Slavic Name that Sounds full of Dread wasn't home at the time. I called him in a panic. I remember him laughing and asking me what I wanted him to do? Umm... why are you laughing? This isn't funny! Clearly this is an emergency! Do you not understand that cockroaches can fly??? Obviously, you should immediately abandon whatever the heck it is your are doing and come save me! He failed to grasp the gravity of the situation. He did not run home to save me. Who needs him anyway? I rescued myself by sacrificing the rest of the house to the cockroaches free reign. Once he flew out the bedroom door, I shut the room up tight and sat shaking in fear, as I recovered from my ordeal. 


Some of you might be scratching your heads and wondering how the cockroach managed to fly through the window screen? Well, that's an easy one, there are no screens. Apparently, no one in the whole continent of Australia has ever thought, "gee, I don't like bugs flying in through the windows...I'm gonna put up window screens." Maybe Aussies are just built tougher than I am? Perhaps they don't act like little babies when the mosquitos are eating them alive or flying cockroaches are boldly taunting them? [Okay, clearly this is unfair. Someone, somewhere in Oz has managed to put up some window screens... it is just surprisingly uncommon to have screens on windows here.]

Luckily for me, the cockroaches don't always take to flight. They seem to reserve this treat for special occasions. Ya know... like when they see a perfectly unsuspecting Michigander with her guard down and they're having a "boring" night... that my friends is the recipe for the perfect storm.

I pray you shall never know the terror, God save you all & may you never come into contact with the likes of a flying cockroach.

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Sydney Smiles: Cockroaches can fly? Please! God! NO!!!

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Cockroaches can fly? Please! God! NO!!!

Day 8: Expat Blog Challenge: I will never get used to...


I will never get used to... the fact that cockroaches can fly... ever!!!


never...ever...ever...

I was sitting on my bed - minding my own business. The windows were open because it was about million degrees outside and I was attempting to get a bit of a breeze. I didn't own a fan - Lord only knows why - being from Michigan I just wasn't "made" to handle this kind of heat. So, I'm sitting there entertaining myself with the mysteries of the interwebs, happy as can be, when it happened.

A cockroach flew in through the opened window. No, that's not right, it didn't just fly - this was more like smugly sauntering through the air towards my head. This mofo was proud of himself! It was like that scene straight out of Top Gun when Maverick decides it's time to "buzz the tower."

At first I was bewildered and frightened, as you would be, when things starts flying at your head. When I realized it was a cockroach I was TERRIFIED! Flying cockroaches are something I will never get used to! I had never encountered a cockroach before moving to Oz. The regular crawling kind scared me enough. Oh, but when they fly, all bets are off! The Tall Aussie with the Slavic Name that Sounds full of Dread wasn't home at the time. I called him in a panic. I remember him laughing and asking me what I wanted him to do? Umm... why are you laughing? This isn't funny! Clearly this is an emergency! Do you not understand that cockroaches can fly??? Obviously, you should immediately abandon whatever the heck it is your are doing and come save me! He failed to grasp the gravity of the situation. He did not run home to save me. Who needs him anyway? I rescued myself by sacrificing the rest of the house to the cockroaches free reign. Once he flew out the bedroom door, I shut the room up tight and sat shaking in fear, as I recovered from my ordeal. 


Some of you might be scratching your heads and wondering how the cockroach managed to fly through the window screen? Well, that's an easy one, there are no screens. Apparently, no one in the whole continent of Australia has ever thought, "gee, I don't like bugs flying in through the windows...I'm gonna put up window screens." Maybe Aussies are just built tougher than I am? Perhaps they don't act like little babies when the mosquitos are eating them alive or flying cockroaches are boldly taunting them? [Okay, clearly this is unfair. Someone, somewhere in Oz has managed to put up some window screens... it is just surprisingly uncommon to have screens on windows here.]

Luckily for me, the cockroaches don't always take to flight. They seem to reserve this treat for special occasions. Ya know... like when they see a perfectly unsuspecting Michigander with her guard down and they're having a "boring" night... that my friends is the recipe for the perfect storm.

I pray you shall never know the terror, God save you all & may you never come into contact with the likes of a flying cockroach.

Labels: , ,

8 Comments:

At February 8, 2014 at 2:12 PM , OpenID plungedownunder.com said...

Very funny, once again, although I do feel some pity for you. I try to ignore the occasional cockroach in our house and pretend I didn't see it. Haven't noticed them flying however. As for getting rid of scary insects, I have to rely completely on myself---no help to be found from my otherwise fearless partner. Scorpions in our shoes in Costa Rica? Guess who disposed of them! Yours truly ….

 
At February 8, 2014 at 2:59 PM , Blogger Australeana said...

Bahahahaha!

Like you, I had never encountered a cockroach before moving to Australia. Our first place in Brisbane had a bit of a cockroach issue. If I needed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I refused to do it barefoot and I turned on every single light in the house, because my ultimate fear was stepping on one of the damn things! Adelaide doesn't seem to have many cockroaches, luckily. Oh, and what about Christmas beetles? THOSE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING!

 
At February 8, 2014 at 8:49 PM , Blogger C. In Oz said...

You clearly did not live in Florida! Nor would I recommend that you ever do. ;-) They call them Palmetto bugs there, which sounds so nice and lovely. They, I assure you, are anything but.

Not roach related, but your post reminded me of a pact that Mimi and used to have. Basically, if either of us were ever home alone and found a Huntsman, we could immediately go to the other person's house until respective husbands came home. Not entirely sure how Partner-in-Crime (i.e. - The Medium Height AusSerbMerican with the Slavic Name That Sounds Not at all Dreadful) would fare, and thankfully I've yet to have to put him to the test.

 
At February 8, 2014 at 8:50 PM , Blogger Yvette Niesel said...

Great! I read this in the dark and now my skin is crawling. LOL

 
At February 8, 2014 at 10:36 PM , Blogger Kelli said...

Ugh- that just made me shiver. So many times. We get giant cockroaches in GA (palmetto bugs) but they don't fly. I'm pretty sure I'd just give the house up if they sprouted wings! (Oops, just read the comment above from Cristin- see, I'm not lying!)

 
At February 8, 2014 at 10:49 PM , OpenID joshandjackie said...

Hahahaha, you know, the big cockroaches here are actually American cockroaches? They hitched a ride over sometime in the past, and they're pretty hardy. My dad's an entomologist, and when I first moved to DC and encountered cockroaches I freaked pretty badly. He never told me they could fly, and like you, I witnessed it firsthand myself - with my roommate in her room. Both of us slept in my bed that night, with towels covering the bottoms of the doors. I feel your horror. Haha, oh warm, wet climates.

 
At February 8, 2014 at 11:57 PM , Blogger Cosette Paneque said...

Hahahaha! Being from Miami, that's exactly what I was thinking about, Palmetto bugs.

 
At February 10, 2014 at 3:34 PM , Blogger Samantha said...

Thanks for your comments everybody! I enjoyed hearing everyone's stories! :-)

 

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