Almost two years gone....


It's almost two years now since my mom passed away.  As the day is quickly approaching, it gets harder to cope.  I suppose memories of the end are the worst.  Not understanding why and being powerless to help aren't things that quickly disappear. 

The song I posted above is beautiful.  It's Alan Jackson- Sissy's Song.  That Alan Jackson can sure write a great song.  My mom used to like him too, which is a bonus.  I will just have to keep listening to this and imagine her saying, "don't worry 'bout me."

Anyone out there in the blogosphere have positive ways of dealing with the 'big sad days' like this?  I was thinking it might be nice to get some yellow roses (her favorite) and let the drift out to sea for her.  I planned on doing that last year (only with Lake Michigan) but when the day came I barricaded my sad butt in my room alone all day - went out once for food - and on the walk there, I managed to take the above photo for her.  Which captured my feelings of the day.  The thing is - I want to try and celebrate her life and the good times - instead of dwelling on the grief.  But, then again if I don't embrace the grief - how will I ever get it all out?

Oh, life, too bad it doesn't come with an instruction manual.
Sydney Smiles: Almost two years gone....

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Almost two years gone....


It's almost two years now since my mom passed away.  As the day is quickly approaching, it gets harder to cope.  I suppose memories of the end are the worst.  Not understanding why and being powerless to help aren't things that quickly disappear. 

The song I posted above is beautiful.  It's Alan Jackson- Sissy's Song.  That Alan Jackson can sure write a great song.  My mom used to like him too, which is a bonus.  I will just have to keep listening to this and imagine her saying, "don't worry 'bout me."

Anyone out there in the blogosphere have positive ways of dealing with the 'big sad days' like this?  I was thinking it might be nice to get some yellow roses (her favorite) and let the drift out to sea for her.  I planned on doing that last year (only with Lake Michigan) but when the day came I barricaded my sad butt in my room alone all day - went out once for food - and on the walk there, I managed to take the above photo for her.  Which captured my feelings of the day.  The thing is - I want to try and celebrate her life and the good times - instead of dwelling on the grief.  But, then again if I don't embrace the grief - how will I ever get it all out?

Oh, life, too bad it doesn't come with an instruction manual.

2 Comments:

At January 9, 2011 at 11:57 PM , Blogger Mimi and Joe said...

Well, having lost both my parents to cancer I can tell you that the first few years don't provide many opportunities for "celebrating" the day - or even having any sort of day other than the kind where you hide in your room, look at their pictures and cry all the time. I just passed the three year anniversary of my mom's passing - I'm now heading up on the ninth anniversary of my Dad's. I can absolutely tell you that this gets better as time goes on. If you ever want to meet up and talk about it, let me know. Really, I'd love to :)

Hope you are feeling better soon!

Mimi

 
At January 20, 2011 at 7:22 AM , Blogger NearlyIrene said...

Sam, hang in there.. Yesterday was the 14th anniversary of my fathers passing. It does get easier. I don't have anything real deep to say, but all I know is, cry when you need to and soon you will find yourself crying less and really remembering the good times more.

 

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